Friday, December 8, 2017

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, WAR IS OVER!


Twinkles the Intern

Hi! I'm Twinkles, the Intern, and I'm the guest blogger this week.  The Invisible Diva is under the weather because she got into her holiday stash of Bailey's Irish Cream a little early and now has a case of the Blarney Flu. She wants me to report that each share of this blog post counts as a thought or prayer toward her recovery!  I did not know that God had Wifi, but the Diva assured me, "Twinkles, if God didn't love social media, then why would he create the prayer emoji?" That makes so much sense!!!




Thursday, November 16, 2017

GOODBYE 50'S

Tomorrow is my 60th birthday, so it's time to say goodbye to a decade of my life that was filled with more ups and downs than any other. In ten short years, I grew older and wiser, but it came with a price. Let me fill you in on the details.




Tuesday, October 10, 2017

NETFLIX AND FILL

As some have noticed (thanks, Mom!) I did not blog this past summer. I took a sabbatical to engage in what the kids today like to refer to as "self care," aka: Wine. In the process, I picked up a new hobby - Wine Pairing! After careful research and experimentation, I came up with the perfect Chardonnay or Pinot to go with Netflix programming. I call this activity Netflix and Fill (Your Glass.) Indulge me, if you will,  as I share with you the perfect grape/binge combo. Cheers!
Wine glass not included with Netflix subscription.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

ONE WORD: PLASTIC!

When we were in Florida, I noticed a definite uptick in the number of  advertisements for plastic surgery. Soon, the constant drone about cold sculpting and life lifts and sucking the fat out of chins sent me to a mirror to ponder. Though at least one of my chins could do with a little de-fatting, it was the cheek implants that interested me the most. I've never had much in the way of cheek bones, so how fun would it be to finally have batwings on either side of my nose?  Maybe some lip filler and botox to add the extra oomph (or lack thereof, in the case of frozen foreheads.) In fact, why not go for the whole she bangs-she bangs and get the tummy tucked, the butt tightened and the ta-tas tremenda-sized?


Thursday, March 30, 2017

SNOWBIRD MONOLOGS: PART IV

The hard part about snowbirding is that, at some point, you lose your wings and have no choice but to head home. We've been molting our feathers for the last few days, so will be making the tedious drive up I-75 on Friday morning. Fast food, prolonged games of solitaire on the iPhone, and plenty of back-seat driving will be involved.
"Yes, officer! He was speeding. I've been telling him to slow down for the last hour and a half! Plus, if he'd listened to me, we wouldn't have got stuck in that traffic on the bridge. After you give him his ticket, would you be a dear and give us a police escort to the nearest service plaza? I've been telling him to stop so I could use the ladies for the last 30 minutes, but NOOOOO...."

"Please, take me to jail. Please?"


Monday, March 20, 2017

SNOWBIRD MONOLOGUES: PART III


One thing I'm learning about Snowbirds is that they are very social creatures. Therefore, it's important to know the proper etiquette required in order to fully participate in your local Snowbird Community. Hint: Alcohol is involved.


Sunday, March 5, 2017

THE SNOWBIRD MONOLOGUES: PART II



The number one rule of Snowbirding is "Never talk about Snowbirding." However, that rule was created by a committee of people who still drink Harvey Wallbangers, so I refuse to be intimidated. As we have been at this new gig for over two months, I feel perfectly qualified to share my expertise. So, listen up future Winter Warriors! For my first lesson, let's start with the age-old question, "What should I pack?"


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Watching the Jack-In-the-Box dogs in this gif is like popping bubble wrap. You just can't stop. Am I right?