|"You had to go there, didn't you?"|
Look, I know all too well that our bladders aren't what they used to be. Pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, ailments and injuries all contribute to weakness and frequency that can lead to frantic trips to the ladies'. In fact, in my circle, it's common courtesy to issue a warning prior to the telling of a pee-your-pants hilarious story. For the most part, we all manage to deal with the issue with proper planning, discreet protection products (used during hay fever season in particular) and apps on our phones that direct us to the nearest public facility. In other words, most of us do not need to wear diapers, unless we are one particular NASA astronaut in the process of attempting to kidnap a romantic rival.
We all understand that, for people with more serious issues, Depend and other brands of adult-sized diapers are a godsend. There is no shame in using a product that you actually need. But, a forty-something woman with a few minor incontinence issues does not need to waddle around in a paper pull-up, no matter what the marketers try to tell us. Besides, if we're going to start diapering ourselves for every little I-sneezed-too-hard-trickle, what's the point to toilet training in the first place? I fear for what Freud would say.
|"What's this fiasco? You've become a nation of anal-expulsive personalities!"|
|"As comfy as my career at the moment!"|
|"What are you carrying in there? Or do I want to know?"|
|"There! I touched it. Can I go home, now?"|
Just in case Lisa and Harry haven't convinced us that Depend products are right for you and me, the company brought out the big guns. Sex appeal. Victoria's Secret has nothing on them. Gosh, I wonder if they come in a thong?
Anyway, nice try, Depend. Now excuse me while I put in my order for a Hoveround. Why walk when I can get around on one of these beauties?