SNOWBIRD MONOLOGS: PART IV

The hard part about snowbirding is that, at some point, you lose your wings and have no choice but to head home. We've been molting our feathers for the last few days, so will be making the tedious drive up I-75 on Friday morning. Fast food, prolonged games of solitaire on the iPhone, and plenty of back-seat driving will be involved.

"Yes, officer! He was speeding. I've been telling him to slow down for the last hour and a half! Plus, if he'd listened to me, we wouldn't have got stuck in that traffic on the bridge. After you give him his ticket, would you be a dear and give us a police escort to the nearest service plaza? I've been telling him to stop so I could use the ladies for the last 30 minutes, but NOOOOO...."

"Please, take me to jail. Please?"

SNOWBIRD MONOLOGUES: PART III

One thing I'm learning about Snowbirds is that they are very social creatures. Therefore, it's important to know the proper etiquette required in order to fully participate in your local Snowbird Community. Hint: Alcohol is involved.

THE SNOWBIRD MONOLOGUES: PART II

The number one rule of Snowbirding is "Never talk about Snowbirding." However, that rule was created by a committee of people who still drink Harvey Wallbangers, so I refuse to be intimidated. As we have been at this new gig for over two months, I feel perfectly qualified to share my expertise. So, listen up future Winter Warriors! For my first lesson, let's start with the age-old question, "What should I pack?"

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Watching the Jack-In-the-Box dogs in this gif is like popping bubble wrap. You just can't stop. Am I right?