PANDEMIC PLANNER

Hello, world! I report to you from The Land of Social Distancing, where time is meaningless. While it would be easy to slip back into our bad habits from college, when we stayed up playing cards until 4:00 a.m. then slept through all of our morning classes, this is an era in history when we must use our time as wisely as we use our toilet paper. For this reason, I offer you my quarantine schedule. Follow it, and you will be an efficient, multi-tasking Gallant:

Rather than a time-hoarding Goofus: