DOES NOT COMPUTE

On a blustery winter day in December of 1995, we Boomers slid onto The Information Highway, and the world has never been the same. Thanks to newly affordable PCs and the arrival of Windows 95, the home computer was the must-have holiday gift of the decade. The WWW changed the way we socialize, politicize, monetize, exercise and stigmatize. We use the internet to earn, learn, yearn, and churn out enough content to fill one million Libraries of Congress. It's possible that the world will end, not with a bang or a whimper, but a Tweet. That's why I am prepared for the day when a grandchild asks of me, "What was it like, GrandDiva, when the internet invaded Planet Earth?" I shall reply, "As soon as Alexa has my robo-butler fetch me a gluten-free gin and tonic, I shall tell you the tale of the beginning of the end of life as we knew it!"

RESOLVE NOT TO RESOLVE

For a diva of a certain age, coming up with a list of New Year's resolutions becomes more of a challenge with each passing decade. In part, it's because, frankly dear reader, we do not give a damn. But, it's also imperative that we use our limited time on this earth wisely. That's why I did my research and googled the Ten Most Popular NYRs, weeding out the useless and the time-wasting. I present to you my results:

Disclaimer: Not a peer-reviewed study