IT WAS ONLY A PAPER WORLD

As a diva of a certain age, I vividly remember the scene in "The Graduate" where McGuire takes Benjamin aside to give him one word of advice - "plastics." While it is true that plastic soon took over every aspect of our lives to the point that our brains are now found to contain about a spoonful of the substance, this was not always the case. There was a time when paper was king and the world was ruled by Big Parchment. In fact, paper was the basis of our entire economic system and was it ever a handful!

Let's begin with the lifeblood of society - the paycheck. In those days, our weekly earnings were paper checks distributed in paper envelopes by the office paper pusher. They were absolutely worthless until we rushed to the bank before it closed to fill out a paper deposit slip to ensure that our bank account was credited with the funds within 5-10 business days. Of course, another option was to cash out the paycheck for paper money that was accepted everywhere, but particularly bars. Never mind that putting the money in the bank was the most responsible option. A single ten dollar bill was good for a few beers, a pack of cigarettes, and a tidy tip to the bartender!

“Gee, thanks.”

In truth, only mobsters and drug dealers carried enough cash to bribe an assemblyman support a lifestyle. Survival in the wilds of suburbia was reliant on one important pack of official paper - the checkbook.  This was so valuable that women had a special section in their purse for its safekeeping. It was not unheard of to purchase fancy checkbook cases made of  leather and embossed with the owners initials in faux gold. Of course, checkbooks still exist today, but who under the age of Gen X uses one with any regularity? We, on the other hand, actually had to reorder checks several times a year! (I favored the cute baby animal packs.)

We took our money very seriously! 

This was because checks were used for everything - rent, mortgage, car, and insurance payments. We also wrote checks for utilities, tuition,  groceries, clothing, and even to repay a loan from a friend. Did we own credit cards? Well, the men did. But, before 1974, women were not able to apply for that piece of plastic on their own. Either way, credit cards were FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY! Buying a new sofa? Leave the credit card at home and bring the check book. Paying your hospital bill after giving birth to your first child? Write a check.  Need to make good with your bookie or dealer? Bring cash. 

You think it's difficult going through airport security nowadays? Try being in line at the grocery store where everyone paid with a check. The first step, while the groceries were being rung up by hand, was to remove the check holder from your purse, open it, then fill out the pertinent information. Once you received the total of your purchase, you added that to the document. Then, the fun began. "I need to see your ID" was followed by scrutinization of the signatures on the check and your driver's license. Next came the requisite glance at you and the picture, followed by a perusal of the "DO NOT ACCEPT CHECKS FROM THESE PEOPLE" list posted at every cashier station. For some reason, those lists were always longer at liquor stores. Once, the check was approved, the cashier did some quick work with a pen, placed it in a drawer and told you that you were to free to board take your groceries and leave.

“

“I don’t know why I need to show my ID! I shop here every week!”

The other hassle about living in a paper world was that it required so much accountability! Today's young people have no idea how stressful and time-consuming balancing the check book could be. I can see their smug faces right now. "Stressful? All you had to do was add up how much you spent, then subtract that from what you had in your account. How hard could that be?" Listen up! It was nuclear-physics hard! "She could not balance the check book properly" was cause for divorce in seven States!

Finally, the promise of plastic arrived as everyone got a credit card. At last, we could live beyond our means!  Our paychecks were soon deposited automatically,  bills could be paid in a magical place called "On-Line." The credit cards could be accessed via our phones! Then came PayPal, VenMo, and crypto. Spending has never been so easy!

What a world! I suspect if there were a modernized remake of "The Graduate," McGuire would take Benjamin aside to give him two words of warning, "The Cloud." We've moved quickly from a paper world to one made purely of air. The question is, how long can we float?