WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG? (Featuring Twinkles the Intern)

Hi everyone! I'm Twinkles the Intern. The Invisible Diva asked me to write this post because she is spending the day casting her vote in the 2020 election! Afterwards, she plans to await the exciting results in the She Shed behind her house. She had me stock it with enough wine, crackers, and Cheese Whiz to get her through mid-December. Meanwhile, my new boyfriend,  Norbert Donald Cided (N.D. for short), and I are going to spread Election Day cheer by gifting our friends and family with homemade red-for-Republican and blue-for Democrat bath bombs! N.D. believes this will be our way of spreading a message of bipartisan unity. "Twinkles," he said, "if people see that these bath bombs can join together to create a frothy, pleasant bathing experience, they will understand that we, too, can put aside our differences and live as one!" This is why I call N.D. Cided the "Guy From the Beatles" of our generation!

ME?

Our first stop was Aunt Donatella and Uncle Pete's, where she greeted us on the front porch. "MAGA, Twinkles! Your Uncle will be sorry he missed you, but he's busy taking down the 'Great Trumpkin' Halloween display and replacing it with our new 'Hark The Donald' Christmas light show!"

"Aunt Donatella, my boyfriend and I brought you a Happy Election Day gift!"
She peeked in the bag, "What the hell are these? Twinkles, is this your attempt at meatballs?"
N.D. came to my rescue, "No, ma'am. These are bath bombs."
Her eyes grew wide, "Bombs? Twinkles! Who radicalized you? Antifa or those ladies on The View?"
N.D. replied,  "Ma'am, these aren't actual bombs. They are like bath salts, yet shaped like an awkward ball of dough. We are giving our friends one of each color as a display of bipartisanship!"
"So," said my aunt, "These blue things represent Biden?"
"Yes!" I piped in, "You see, it doesn't matter who we vote for. In the end, we are all human beings who share the love of a nicely-scented soak!"
To our surprise, she crushed the blue bomb with one bare hand, then shouted, "GET OUT! I'll never have anything in my household that has to do with that sleepy socialist and his plans to lock us in our basements while he makes trillions off of China! The very idea that I would dishonor the Code of the Trumper with a Biden Bath Bomb is enough to make me want to disown you, Twinkles!"

"But, don't forget family spaghetti dinner on Sunday. 4 p.m.!"

                                                                       

We hurried down the street to our next stop, the home of my former English teacher, Ms. Penny Dantic. We found her on her porch wearing an "I'm speaking" t-shirt.

"Twinkles!" she shouted, "I'm text-banking, but I've always got a minute to spare for a favorite student!"
"Text banking?" I asked.
"Yes. I'm sending texts to potential voters to ask them to vote for Joe. Twinkles, I'm Ridin' With Biden!"
"That is wonderful Ms. Dantic. We want to wish you Happy Election Day with a Non-Partisan Treat!"
N.D. handed her the gift bag, "Please accept these red and blue bath bombs which, when used, together, can symbolize the united front that we, as Americans, share no matter our politics!"
Ms. Dantic stared at him for 20 full seconds, the same amount of time she'd stare at a student who said, "I seen" rather than "I saw."
"Please leave my home, immediately, and take this red bath bomb with you. How dare you think that my choice for President is so trite that I can overlook the horror of that bombastic, billionaire bully (that's alliteration, Twinkles) who wants to turn America into a fascist dictatorship while he grows wealthier via corruption. How dare you! Good day, Sir! I SAID GOOD DAY!"

"Twinkles! Don't forget. I need your help at the bake sale, next week."

                          

Things weren't going well, but we refused to give up hope. Our next stop was at N.D. Cided's best friend's home, which was actually the space above his parent's garage.
"Yo, Bernard Brochesky! Long time no see!" N.D. greeted him.
"Welcome, comrade. What brings you here?"
I stepped forward to present our bipartisan treats.
"What are these? Do I eat them, or smoke them?"
"Bro! You use them in your bathtub. Just imagine it! All of us soaking at once...Dems, Republicans, Independents, and people who don't know what the hell is going on! It will be like that time all the old people held hands and sang We Are the World together. Unity!"
"Get out!" Bro demanded.
"Bro!" N.D. cried, "We come in peace!"
"You come as a representative of the corporate greed  machine, you neo-Con, you! How dare you assume that these....these BATH BOMBS can appease me when I demanded Medicare 4 All, absolute forgiveness of student death, and $15 an hour MINIMUM wage. I will never support your corrupt two-party system that has perpetrated the notion that power must reside in the hands of the 2%. Never, I say!"

"Hey! Don't forget game night next week, dude!"

By now, we were both too dejected to carry on. I decided to take the long way home so I could think about all I had just witnessed. So much anger all over something as simple as the election of the leader of the entire free world. It made no sense.  Then, suddenly, a child appeared before me.
"Hello, Twinkles."

"Linus! What are you doing here. It's not Christmas, yet."
"Because of the pandemic, people want Christmas to come a little early, this year."
I nodded, "Yes. People do seem unusually upset, Linus. You see, my boyfriend and I just tried to prove to our friends that we can all get along no matter which candidate we each voted for. Instead of being grateful for our wisdom, they were angry! What does it all mean, Linus?"

"Lights please?"

"Twinkles, they all want to get along.  Your aunt and uncle will continue to endearingly criticize your choice of boyfriend over spaghetti dinner. Your former teacher will lovingly mark all the spelling and grammatical errors in your annual Christmas letter, then return it to you with a note that says, 'You can do better.' The Bro will jovially join you for pizza and beer (your treat.) What they do not want is to be told that the way to get along is to have their political views watered down or to happily accept the other position. Political views do matter. We will all get along much better if we understand that. And, it wouldn't hurt for people to listen now and then."
"You are so right, Linus! And, with that said, I'm going to the polls to cast my vote!"

"And that, Twinkles, is the true meaning of democracy!"

Happy election day, America!  Time for me to head to the She Shed for a little wine.