GOODBYE 50'S

Tomorrow is my 60th birthday, so it's time to say goodbye to a decade of my life that was filled with more ups and downs than any other. In ten short years, I grew older and wiser, but it came with a price. Let me fill you in on the details.

In my 50's, I lost my brother to sarcoidosis of the lungs, then, ten weeks later, my father to acute myeloid leukemia. We buried my mother-in-law in 2014.  My dear cousin, Mary, passed away suddenly last winter. One thing death teaches us is that, even with broken hearts, we continue to feel the love from those who have passed.

In my 50's, I learned that my mother was headed down the long, twisting path of dementia. In the early days, my sisters and I thought we could fix it. We soon learned we were wrong and moved her to assisted living.  We wasted some time mourning her old life, but soon learned to understand the meaning of the term "new normal" and accept these changes. One thing dementia teaches us is to let go of expectations and disappointments and live in the moment.


                                           

In my 50's, I said goodbye to houses I had loved. We sold my parents' home that had been the family gathering place for 35 years. We sold their Florida house that had been the source of many memorable vacations. My husband and I sold the house in which we'd lived, with our son, as a family for 24 years.  Each  of those homes was filled with countless memories, some joyful, some sad. Leaving them behind meant saying goodbye to the comfort that comes with arriving at a familiar doorstep where traditions reside. One thing moving from a house teaches us is that, in the end, it wasn't the house. It was the love that we carry with us to the new place.

                                          

In my 50's, my husband had a second, then a third heart attack. I have nothing else to say about that. I'll leave it all to your imagination. One thing that facing your spouse's mortality teaches us is that we are not promised time together. So, do not waste what you are given.

                                           

In  my 50's, I said goodbye to our beloved yellow lab. I don't think I'll ever forget bending over to kiss her head for one last time, then asking the vet, "Why is it so wet?" It was from the tears that had been dripping off my chin onto her soft fur.  One thing saying goodbye to a dear fur baby teaches us is that love will almost always end in pain, but it's worth it.

                                              
But:
Also in my 50's, our son graduated from high school, and, before we could blink, had a job and a place of his own. To say he's our pride and joy is both cliche and an understatement, but that's exactly what he is, and I'm not changing a word. One thing having a child grow to independence teaches you is that, if you've done your job right, you don't get to decide to let go. They make that decision for you, and, when they do, it's their gift to you.

 Also in my 50's, I saw our family welcome new members as nieces, cousins' daughters, and a brother-in-law took the marriage vows. I cried every time because, let's face it, there's nothing more beautiful than unedited love on display. One thing weddings teach us is that love still wins out.

                                            

In my 50's, I became a great-aunt. 7 times!! So far, 1 boy and 6 girls with a girl on the way in March. One thing new babies teach us is that we are still welcome on this planet. Let's not abuse that.

                                           
Another thing that happened in my 50's is my husband and I downsized and moved to a condo in a new town. One thing downsizing teaches us is how to feel weightless! All you have to do is let go of the stuff.

                                                       
One more thing that happened in my 50's is my husband and I became snowbirds. We spent our first winter on the beach in Florida my 59th year. One thing living in nature teaches us is that we are just visitors, here. Let's be good guests.

                                                         

Bottom line is that these last ten years have been quite the run. I don't expect any less of my 60's. Viva!